Um... Well my friend Brittany knows exactly what I'm feeling just by my voice or my appearance... And she actually notices stuff about me! Like when I'm upset, or about to cry I pinch the bridge of my nose... I had no clue that she knew that about me! She knows I feel like an outsider in her family, and when I'm thinking about my soulmate... I just never knew I was so important, ya know? I bet Kris notices stuff about me to! But one of my friends, who I was talking to, didn't hear a word I said. So I was like... Oh. I guess I'm that easily ignored. But there are actually people that care about me, even on here, the number of you that actually read what I have to say and care and all, never ceases to amaze me.

Anyway. My family lately... Well the one person in my family who I always thought was most like me... Has dyed her hair and put on makeup. Its not like I find dying your hair evil or something. I'm cool with it. Its just... she's cold. Not physically, but her soul just feels cold. And we used to always tell each other that natural beauty was the most beautiful, and say we'd never smoke or dye our hair or any of that. And we had so many good times! So much laughter and happiness and we helped each other through the bad times. And when she saw me yesterday... I felt like... I was just there. She didn't brighten or anything! She just looked at me, like she was a teenager that had better things to do, and I was just some kid that she didn't have time for right now. And I am 2 years older than her. She used to look up to me, and now she looks down. She came over and gave me a no-heart hug, and said "its been so long since I seen you" then she just stepped away and walked over to her friend. Who was no friend, I could tell just by looking. Like I was some ugly thing that didnt deserve more than a ten second hug. So I just went outside. I saw my aunt Krissy frist, she was way to skinny, but she was so happy to see me, she ran over and I gave her a big hug. A real hug! And it was nice. Then I saw more of my family. And it was like we just had a nice lil family reunion outside of the house on the yard, because inside the house was so fake... It was nice though. I got caught up with my cousins Kayla and Sara and they are warm and good. I saw my lil nepthews Lil matt and luke, they were in costume and at first i didn't reconize them, then Little lukie started crying and Sara was like 'who is that' and Lil Matt was like "Thats my little brother luke!" and he said it so cute! Luke was dressed like batman and Matt was dressed like the Joker, and I was like "Is that you Matt?" and he nodded and took of his mask and I LOVE HIM HE'S SOOOO CUTE! and he gave me a hug and all. My older brother Matt and his fiance (who he has had Luke and Matt and Terra [the youngest CUTE newest adition] with) were dressed up like Superman and Superwoman. They looked like the most beautiful couple! Terra had her hair like Pebbles from the Flinstones. I'm not sure what she was supposed to be, but she was adorable! Anyway My dad told Kayla and Sara that I (the oldest of them) was going trick-or-treating so they decided to to. It was really great walking and talking to my cousins. I think Sara said to me "Tiffany, we've all been getting taller, what happened to you?" and My older brother was like "Tiffany, you get shorter every time I see you." I'm totally saying "I'm not short, I'm fun sized" Next reunion! At one point Big Matt ran past and made a scary cat noise, I jumped, and seriously wondered how it was possible to make such a noise. Anyway its weird, even tho Cathy invited us all over, she wasn't a part of the reunion. She didn't come walking, or out in the yard... And Madison, the cousin who has changed for the worst, wasn't a part of it either. I worry about Madison most of all... because if she's hiding behind a all-year mask, where is my lil cousin who used to go bright eyed when thinking of all the houses that used to give out full-sized candy bars. Where is she? I miss her. How do I get her back?